Pennyisbroken

My life has been completely turned upside down. My boyfriend of almost 4 years, after a period spent being cold and distant, has decided he doesn't know how he feels about our relationship anymore, and 'needs time to think'.
So I'm left feeling broken hearted, betrayed and quite desperate. I'm not sure that I'm really coping, perhaps more clinging onto a thread of sanity...
A very kind friend is letting me stay at her place as long as I need to, as I can't be in the same flat as him, but it's not exactly convenient, especially as she lives in a studio apartment.
What worries me the most though, is I can feel myself sliding down the slope towards my old familiar anxiety and depression, and no one wants to help. My GP just said 'deal with it' pretty much. I asked if I had to pitch up to Casualty having slit my wrists before I would be taken seriously. It seems in this country, anyone with mental problems is ignored and ignored, before they finally go mad and get sectioned.
Let's hope I can dig my heals in and keep hold of my life.

And if you're reading this 'FUCK YOU!'

Pennyisbroken

Yesterday, I travelled to London for the first round of auditions for Gok Wan's new show, Gok's Beauty Show.
I applied on line after seeing the show advertised, asking for applicants. I had to fill out a questionaire about myself, and send in some pics. Then they called me up for a telephone interview, and I got through to the first round audition.
I don't think I understand exactly what the show is gonna be, but it's something about finding a modern-day Beauty Queen. Probably not me then, haha!
I have to wait to find out if I go through to the next round of auditions.....

And quite randomly, there was someone I know in the same audition as me! Toxica, one of PWA's models! Fancy that, what a small world!!!

Pennyisbroken

I am normally really careful to not burn, but yesterday I went for a long walk along the seafront to watch a skate-jam. I was wearing a knee-length skirt and cardigan, so stupidly didn't consider using cream. But every inch of me not covered by fabric is now screaming red!!! Damn and blast! Not only is it dangerous, but it looks manky! Gone is my lovely pale skin. On the way is probably old lady crinkly skin! Daft mare. Oh well, at least I've learned my lesson!

Pennyisbroken

I just don't wanna do anything except get trashed, behave badly and enjoy myself. It's like I'm 17 again!
Doesn't sound too odd, but I am usually content at home, watching tv with a bottle of fine wine. Not in the pub, being insanely raucous, downing cider and terrorising the bar staff!
I'm exhausting all my friends though! Some just can't keep up with me, and some don't want me unconscious on their sofa 3 Saturdays in a row. Come on people!!!!!!!!!

So anyone up for a night out, that can deal with the madness and the fact that I am a complete menace when drunk, you know where i am!

Pennyisbroken

I was supposed to be doing a shoot tomorrow, that has been many months in the planning, and that I have invested a lot of money into. But due to the crappy postal service, and someone somewhere's mistake, I've had to cancel a photographer, her assistant, a make-up artist, and my dresser. Fuck's sake!!!!!
I came across a katsura on Ebay - a Japanese wig in the style Geisha wear. I'd never thought I could afford one, but it had been badly listed, so I guess no one else saw it to bid on it. So having that, I decided to go all the way and bought all the other costume parts to do a totally authentic (apart from me being English!) Japanese Geisha/ Maiko shoot.

BUT! The make up I ordered from Kyoto, the exact stuff that Geisha wear, hasn't arrived! There was a delay in posting it, and it just hasn't turned up. I am so annoyed, and upset! I've been looking forwards to that shoot for so long, as had the MUA as she wanted to use the pics in her portfolio for her MUA exam.

So I'll have to go out and get drunk tomorrow, to compensate. There goes my Sunday!

I HATE PARCELFORCE!!!!!